November

It's coming to the end of November and I just realized that Elijah will be 6 months soon and he will official and legally be the Wilkinson's.
I love them so very much and I am so happy that I met them.
I really need to call them more its been maybe a month sense we have talked, the sad part is its not that they haven't tried its I didn't try.
I miss my ohana, aloha Wilkinson's.

MY WINGS ARE BACK

I am feeling so much better today I guess I just really needed to cry cause once I did that I had it out of my system and I was smiling again and I feel really good.
I wish that I could go to group with the same people but I can't and they don't even have one where I am, what ever will I do.
I can't wait for church on sunday, there are some nice people here in this town and then there are some others that I don't care for but hey you gotta take the good with the bad and the ugly.

Angel Tears

Today I saw the most beautiful baby in his first photo shoot, how precious, he looks so angry I love it.
As time is moving on I miss him more, I wish he could talk cause really it would be great, I much rather hear him, then really see him.
Cameron started talking about marriage and kids again I broke down, I don't know if I want to have any more kids, the last 4 months in each one would kill me, cause I would think about Elijah. I know I will get past it, eventually.
My family members that I told want to meet him but I don't know if I want them too, cause I know they will have a harder time with seeing him then I will.
I was looking at my brothers and my baby pictures omg we all look alike, when we were first born but now not so much.
Now that I am alone in my dorm, I have started to have nightmares, I keep feeling like someone is holding me down, and I can't breath, then there is a pain in my stomach, I look down and see blood. Scarey, I miss the girls at group so much I want to talk to them I want someone to hug me. But its just me out here.
Its like I finally have to deal with what happened to me, but I don't to, not yet, not ever.

The Black Rose in the White Grass

So this past weekend I found out that I have an infected mastoid, the mastoid is a bone in the brain, my is swollen and is putting pressure on my brain. Yeah its funny after all the crap that I have been through I still have to deal with this crap.

But hey I can still smile, my legs are awesome, my stomach is awesome, my butt omg is awesome, I can run up and down the court and still ball which is awesome, and Cameron much like the rest of me is awesome.

With all this awesome you would think they would make is against the law. lol

I miss all of the wonderful women at group, and I hope that they are all doing well

hugs to them all I really don't know where I would be without them. I love Bernie and Rich so much and I have been praying for them and I know that their family is doing so wonderfully. I think about the past couple of months and all the blessings that I have received and I can't help but think thank god.

One day a black rose came up out of white grass, the gardener was afraid that the grass would be harmed tried to get rid of the black rose. But the white grass knew better. It knew that out of eternal darkness comes light and with out the black rose they would die.

I am a black rose much like the other girls in group and group to me represents the white grass, if one girl were to leave or stop coming it hurts because we/I need and love her. I love you all so very much, being away from you all hurts so much, but I know that everything happens for a reason, so I will smile some more and keep you always in my heart.

One Month Later

Its been one month yah :-)
I am so happy really this has been the best month
Cameron and I are doing wonderful we had the best date in the park
Bernie and Rich look like they are doing so well and Rich's parents are so beautiful
I can't wait for school I finished all my school work I am going to be taking 19 credit hours
wish me luck.
PS I still look sexy lol

Two Weeks Later

My fat stomach is back and I am looking sexy. I love it, I really could do this 6 more times. I'm not sure that I could sing through it again. I have the best family in the world Aunt Bernie and Uncle Rich they are the best. I can't wait to see them again. But for now I am happy to talk to them.
I would really like to meet their family hint hint wink wink hopefully I get invited up there lol. I see a rode trip in my future maybe lol.

I think that if people were reincarnated our little family would be brought together in every life, I think our souls are connected to one anothers.

I love them dearly.

Elijah Boy

June 23, 2010  2:16 pm
6 pounds 10 ounces
19 inches

June 26, 2010
3:00 pm

Elijah Wilkinson will for ever be loved, I know this because he is my child and what I feel for him will never go away. He now has been placed in the hands of his parents by God and there is no doubt in my mind that they will be great parents.
I love Bernie and Rich Wilkinson and thank them so much for blessing my life and the life of their new son. They have sheltered and feed both of us and for that I will be eternally greatful.
To my new ohana, aloha and best of luck.

Blank Slate

Today is the start of my blank slate this meaning I am now like a fresh new note pad just waiting to be written on. So tell me what you think I should know and I will take it with open arms. I don't know how often I will update this but oh the funny stories I could tell.

Love Jasmine