Pleasure in Pain

It finally hit me, like a ton of bricks
the reason for all the lies and hateful antics
I thought you would be mad if I hated you or wanted you back
but the fact that I am happy for you, really got you mad
I'm sorry I can't hate you, never have never will
so you and your girl can keep wishing me ill
I pray for you and her and both your families every night
the sad fact, that last sentence just got you tight
I'm not a hateful person and my heart is better than gold
which makes you hate me and makes me love you more
I found pleasure in pain and beauty in disaster
I found a nothing but misery in what was supposed to be happily ever after
I know it hurts you to the core knowing I would never love you more
more than a brother or a friend, knowing I'm actually grateful for our end
Every man wants to be wanted but I don't want you
I could careless for having the friendship back too
you showed your true colors as all people do
Red is the color of love, but your actions all prove you BLUE
I wrote this little rap and you proved every word true

"Fucked a bitch so good, he swear he a real nigga,
coming for me, you never pulled one trigger
you say I ain't beat, how the fuck you figure
allergic to fake, you never met one realer
I look beat, you look beat up
get paid for my looks, haters call me a slut
no fendi no prada, I don't need designer
you bitches is fake and you niggas vagina
I stand 6 foot 1 and I'm still getting higher
you still talking shit but your pockets look drier
first you say you blood but you rocking the blue
pants at your knees you a prison fruit loop
say you got money, we all see that ain't true
ride niggas dicks, think I'd be fucking with you
Your words don't fade me, your death wouldn't dismay me
still in your feelings quit being a baby
300 plus pounds and your soft as fuck
I would whoop your ass, but ain't nobody got time for your butt"
-JJ