Affairs in Order

It's time to get my affairs in order,
I can't say that I have enjoyed life,
It has been one burden after another,
pain and anguish,
I have often hoped for the best,
however, I am often met with the worse,
My life has no value or meaning,
Each attempt to love myself,
results in my own destruction,
I have tried to end my misery without success,
Nothing could destroy me, including myself,
The world would be better without,
I tell myself daily,
just end it now,
I must get my affairs in order,
as to not leave a financial burden for my family,
as to not cause my family anymore pain,
When the time comes,
I hope to journey into the cold dark night,
never to return, peace at last,