Dear Elijah

First let me start by telling you I love you and not a day goes by that I don't wish you were with me.

It all started with a team,
I was playing basketball in college,
never went to class and thought I had all the knowledge,
flirting nice and casual,
In the middle of the happenings,
I was living every athletes college dreams,

Season ended things got hazy,
starting feeling kinda crazy,
found out I was having a baby,
what in the world, wait maybe,

I knew that I wanted you but you weren't mine to have,
Seeing as how you let five months pass,
I never felt you move or saw you grow gradually,
you were all of a sudden, someone I was having,
So the choice seemed real simple,
I would give you away with love,
Too two people that you had chosen from above,
The first time I felt you leap,
I was staring at a picture of your parents, you didn't skip a beat,

The time we had left, flew quickly by,
I was your angel, you gave me new life,
But the joy quickly turned to sadness, as I longed for your smell,
The touch of you, wish I knew it this well,
Salted tears give way, dreams die and we pray,
I have been hopelessly wandering, falling,
Screaming to be loved by you,

My dark days are dark, and the deep is blue,
I see you grow up from the pages of the book,
that stabbing pain, that flicker of jealous,
I wish that were me, I wish that were me,
to kiss away a sudden bump,
or build forts using tree stumps,
I wish I was laughing and living each day,
With you my dear child,
I just wish you could stay,

Time may heal old wounds,
scars form and are torn each year,
this should be a time of cheer,
I retreat to my solemn bed to weep,
Missing my child, my love, my me