I'm Not

I'm not the girl I use to be, laughing and finding joy in everything, 

I'm not the girl you thought I was, always in like but never in love, 

I'm not at peace where my soul should find rest, 

I'm not the champion or even second best, 

I feel alone 

Burdened by life and all that comes with it, 

responsibility and adulting, too much to handle, 

burning at both ends, this candles wick,

always alone but surrounded by friends, 

wanting to quit but right in the thick of it,

Pill after pill, used to calm my troubled mind, 

My mind, body and soul suspended in time, 

My courage is failing and joy fleeting, 

These are not ramblings of the twisted, 

the conscious thoughts, needing to be uplifted,

Young, troubled and gifted, 

Surviving suicide, life persisted, 

I can't control these dark thoughts, 

but I can shed light on what has been fought, 

depression is real and a worthy opponent, 

throw on your gloves, 

you're hurt, than own it,

until you understand what I am, 

You will only view what I'm Not